It’s so easy to get caught up in tasks that we think we need to accomplish to reach goals, and make those actions our focus. We say things like, “I want to have $1 million, so I need to get a high paying job, work really hard, scrimp and save, and invest wisely.” Alternatively, consider the mindset of someone who says, “I want to be wealthy, so that I can feel secure, take care of my family, experience the world through travel, and control my own work schedule.” Focusing on ‘what to do’ is not so inspiring; in fact it sounds somewhat dreadful. The latter focus, ‘who we want to be’, evokes more positive emotion, and is open to many different ways to achieve it. Having an image of our ideal self as our objective, will be far more meaningful than just a set of tasks, and will help keep us motivated to become it. If we focus first on, ‘who we want to be’ and set that belief as our goal, we can then start to figure out the “why” part of it, and use that as inspiration as we do what’s required to get there. Otherwise, we’ll limit ourselves to one path when there are actually many possibilities.
Take action: Start with an easy aspect of who you want to become. Let’s say you want to be a good friend to someone you care about. It will make you feel upstanding by being caring and supportive. Then think about how to achieve that, there are lots of ways. Do not limit yourself by setting a path for the “how” first, nor by getting stuck on set tasks. If one action doesn’t work out, find another that is also in line with being a good friend.