Stop seeking unhealthy relationships.

We probably know at least one person, maybe it’s ourselves, who questions “Why can’t I find a decent man/woman?” Someone who keeps dating the same sort of person over and over, and yes, going a little insane doing so. Or maybe they break up with someone, get back together, and then do it again.

We can blame an overpowering cocktail of biological chemicals in our body that draws us towards the familiar. We follow our cells’ chemical needs of trying to maintain their current state. If we’ve repetitively experienced enough anger, victimization, or insecurity that it feels like it’s become part of us, then our biological structure, will actually seek out that negativity, so that it can stay in its comfort zone.

Our body avoids change in order to conserve energy for when we need it. So we have to let our body know that we need it. A new way of thinking will enable our brains to send our new signals internally, disrupting the comfortable patterns we’ve gotten used to.

We may think we are in tune with our feelings, but our body’s chemical composition causes us to feel like returning to our norm, and our emotional memories from the past make it difficult to evolve. These factors then affect our thoughts, continuing the feedback loop, and dictating our actions.

If this sounds like us, it’s time to break the cycle. Our “type” may not be healthy for us. Having “chemistry” with someone is not always a good thing, stop seeking it.

Take action: A new perspective can help break you out of patterns. Try something new, such as travel somewhere that will challenge you to explore a hidden aspect of yourself, hang out with people who have different interests than you, or pick up a new hobby or sport that will teach you new skills.

:: Inspired by Joe Dispenza, DC’s book, Evolve Your Brain.

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